March 2012
Seething, seething, rage, rage, rage, seething,...
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Fuck.
Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask...
“Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
– The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (via urbanoaktree)
Clothing advice from a 5 year old.
Sister: You always, always wear socks. Or have them with you. It's imperative.
Me: It is criminally weird when you use big words, and why do you need socks?
Sister: You never know when some wonderful person might ask you to go to the Playplace.
Me: Er...the Playplace?
Sister: McDonalds. The Playplace. You need to have socks to play there. It's the law.
Me: And just who is asking you to the Playplace?
Sister: I'm not saying I'm popular, I'm just saying I should be ready. You don't want to be stuck buying socks from McDonalds, it's expensive here.
Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.